


Nothing Compares To You

by inexprymable



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-12-26 02:41:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12049623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inexprymable/pseuds/inexprymable





	Nothing Compares To You

I've always thought once we'd reach the Alpha Quadrant, I'd share a celebratory meal with my First Officer, my friend. I couldn't have been more wrong. He was dining with Seven. All of my crew members had company for our last night in space and their old captain didn't want to ruin their fun by actually accepting their invitations to the gathering in the mess hall. I've already finished my report for Admiral Paris and there was no point in staying up for the night. 

I didn't feel sleepy from all the coffee I've drank. I settled on a relaxing bath. It was supposed to make me drowsy but instead I started thinking about too many things at once. It was tiring but there was too much going on in my head to even think about sleep. 

My mission has been accomplished. Mine and my future selves. I got my crew home and Seven was safe. And alive. And she would be for many years. She was finding her happiness with Chakotay and even though the thought of it was making me feel pain my chest, I was happy at the same time. I was happy for her. 

I shouldn't have felt upset. Not then. It was a night of joy, relief and peace. I didn't feel remotely peaceful. 

* * *

It was 2100 sharp when the door of my quarters chimed. I groaned inwardly and put my empty mug on the coffee table. "Come in" I said, not exactly eager to talk to my visitor, whoever it was. 

But of course, it had to be Seven. I almost smiled the second the door opened. Thankfully, I didn't. Hands behind her back, her legs trembled as she walked inside. Seven's face was read, eyes swollen. My heart skipped a beat when I realized she was crying. I nearly knocked my mug over, trying to get to her as fast as it was possible. "Seven..." I whispered. 

She looked down, totally unlike my Seven. Something was wrong and I didn't know how to reach out to her. I counted to ten in my head and took a long breath. "Sit down with me." I wanted it to say as softly as I was able to. I turned from Seven and took a few steps towards the couch, waiting to hear her saying that she preferred standing. The only think I heard was a muffled sob. I gulped audibly and sat down, watching her doing the same. I had to find out what was wrong and I wasn't subtle about it. "Are you upset because our journey is coming to an end? I remember you being anxious about returning to Earth, something about our quest being futile..."

The corners of my lips quirked, but Seven's didn't. It was an unavailing attempt at cheering her up. I shouldn't have said that because her sadness increased. Her brow furrowed. I was close to tearing up, yet I had to remain calm. Not because I was a Starfleet Captain. I had to be strong for Seven. No matter what she was about to drop on me, I had to take it with a straight face. 

"The parameters of my relationship with Commander Chakotay have been altered. We are no longer... 'dating'." 

Her declaration was said almost without emotion. I was able to detect the barely existent quiver in her voice. I did not expect her admission. My jaw tightened on an impulse. She's never even told me they were together in the first place.

"What happened?" I said quietly. I thought I was dealing with a broken heart, that I would try and comfort her. I've already imagined wrapping my arms around her slender frame and a part of me wanted to strangle my First Officer, even though I had no idea about what it was about. I was ready to walk out of my quarters, my anger must have been obvious to Seven. Even though Seven's made a long way since her attempt to return to the Hive, she was just as stubborn and straight forward and not everyone appreciated these parts of her personality. If Chakotay didn't accept her for who she was, if he rejected her...

She looked me in the eye, making me lost the track of my thoughts. Her irises have never been more blue, or have they? "If you think Commander has done something to upset me, you are incorrect." It was the time for me to furrow my brow. She licked her lips, she was struggling more than ever. "I've made the choice to terminate our relationship." Her tears were drying on her slightly pink face and she looked so beautiful. 

"How come?" To hell with discretion and professionalism. Seven was in distress and she came to me, even though I didn't understand my role in this. I wasn't certain how to help her or if she needed help. I couldn't rely on my gut feeling without knowing all the facts. Especially not with my protégé. She was in the process of self discovery and the shift of her relationship with Chakotay was a proof of that. I didn't want to disrupt this process or to force a reaction out of her. 

Seven was taking her time, evidently still working it out herself. "I had an implant removed... It was interfering with my emotions." 

I must have indicated I was puzzled, because she proceeded with the explanation. "I perceived Commander's affections as a chance for me to grow as a person, to explore my humanity." She paused, looking down for a moment in a contemplating manner. "I did not intend to be selfish and use the Commander for my own benefit." A hint of regret in her beautiful voice prompted me to take one of her hands into mine. I was surprised to find the mesh covered hand warmer than my own cold digits.

A small gasp left her mouth and I froze. Perhaps it was too much for her liking. She looked up and her eyes locked with mine. "My implants are sensitive." She said before I could retract my hand. I opened my mouth to utter an apology.

"Seven,"

"Captain,"

There was a nonverbal competition between us and Seven seemed to be the winner. "Captain... you do not find my 'Borgness' repulsive." She stated with a hint of disbelief, glancing at my hand upon hers. 

I smiled at her lovingly. "I never have." I leaned closer to my Astrometrics Officer, never breaking the eye contact. 

"Captain..." She'd whispered softly, before our lips touched.

* * *

"Captain!" Seven said, perhaps too loud. Her lips touched Kathryn's and a measured amount of air flew into the Starfleet Captain's mouth. 

The young woman tapped her chest, aiming for a combadge. Her BP rose briskly. She realized she left it in the cargo bay. She felt liquid gathering in her human eye and attempted to ignore the sensation. She wasn't sure if it was her instinct kicking in, or her knowledge of thousands of species. She started compressing her captain's chest, in order to bring her back to life. With her ability to multitask, she was counting the compressions in her head, while trying to talk to the woman lying on the cold floor, even thought she might have never heard her. "Captain, breathe. Please... Captain, I need you to breathe." She said again and again, until she performed a thirtieth compression. She checked Janeway's breathing. Detecting no reaction to her attempts, she exhaled air into her mouth once more. She closed her eyes and began losing hope, letting the tear finally roll down her face. 

A sharp inhale. 

Seven looked down. "Kathryn."

The older woman inhaled audibly for the second time and coughed, spitting some water out. 

"Kathryn!" 

Seven was looking at the woman's face, looking up to her grey eyes that were slightly open. "Captain... You are..."

The red haired woman tried to say something, but couldn't. 

"Do not speak, I have just performed a cardiopulmonary resuscitation on you." She said as she reached for a towel. 

Kathryn looked down. Seeing her bare chest, she felt anxious. However, the young woman never looked at her nude form, aside from the moment when she wrapped the towel around her captain, in order to cover most of her torso. 

"I will explain it to you but now is not the time. I shall take you to the sickbay." She stood up to find some other piece of material to cover the captain's body. A pink bathrobe had to suffice. She helped the captain put it on. 

"Seven, how..." 

Seven took the smaller woman in her arms. "I have found you in your bathtub. You were under the surface. I pulled you out and you were not respiring..." She paused and cleared her throat. She carried her captain to the turbolift. There was no one in their way, as the entire crew was celebrating. "Deck five." She said quietly. No other words were exchanged by the women, until they've reached sickbay and Seven put her mentor on the biobed. She told the doctor what happened and left, feeling an odd sensation in her stomach.

* * *

 

She returned to the captain's quarters and entered the bathroom. Water was splashed all over it. She cleaned up the mess and felt the adrenaline level decreasing. She was trembling, her knees gave out. She didn't know what was happening to her. Something was gathering in her throat. She managed to reach towards the toilet, before emptying her stomach content. Wiping her mouth, she came to realization that she was not bothered by it. It was the fact that her captain could die... not on a foreign planet, not fighting species 8472... She could drown in her bathtub. 

Seven thought that removing the failsafe preventing her from feeling strong emotion was a mistake. She suddenly remembered losing One and she didn't feel as if she mourned him enough. All of her feelings and memories flooded her mind at once. She tried to focus on the present situation, not wanting to break into pieces. She's never felt more fragile before. 

_I entered the captain's quarters. I found them to be exceptionally quiet. I could not find her anywhere. She was not in the living area, not in her bedroom. It made me feel... insecure, anxious. I feared something might have happened to her. Borg do not rely on intuition... I opened the door. There was a faint scent of bath oils. I remember my feet moving towards the bathtub. The rest of my memories is clouded. I needed to get the captain out of the bathtub. I needed to save the captain, as she saved me._


End file.
